


"I'm Just So Tired"

by KeganGrimme



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, I think?, Mental Breakdown, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 22:16:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21345628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeganGrimme/pseuds/KeganGrimme
Summary: Sometimes Starscream has enough.
Kudos: 44





	"I'm Just So Tired"

"I'm just so tired."

When Thundercracker had followed Starscream out to a deserted spot of the land, he expected Starscream would just complain to the skies about how unfair Megatron was to him and that he deserved to be leader. After all, Megatron had told him off pretty well back at the base.

_"But Megatron-!"_

_"**No** Starscream." Megatron growled, pressing his claws against his forehead out of frustration. "I told you a thousand times. I call the shots. Your plan would get us caught and defeated in an instant!"_

_"Like your plans haven't done that before." Starscream mumbled, just loud enough for Megatron and the surrounding decepticons to hear._

_"WHAT WAS THAT!?" The leader snarled, grabbing Starscream's arm and pulling him closer. "You **dare** question my authority!? You're nothing but trouble you flying rat! Primus only knows why I keep you as my second-in-command! You can be easily replaced!"_

_"Then why don't you do it already!?" Starscream barked back, baring his fangs, challenging._

_"MAYBE I WILL!"_

_And with that statement, Megatron grabbed Starscream's head and smashed it into the floor, keeping the decepticon pinned down there until Starscream let out several cries of pain. Removing his hand, Megatron watched as Starscream shakily stood up, his face scratched up. "Get that fixed later you weasel." Megatron commanded before stomping away, followed by Soundwave._

_"Woah, Megatron isn't messing around this time!" Thundercracker cackled, enjoying the show of Starscream being shown his place. However, normally Starscream would shout back a sharp remark about how he was still higher ranking than Thundercracker. Instead of the normal verbal lashing, Starscream turned to Thundercracker and mumbled. "I'm going for a fly." Before Thundercracker could respond, Starscream took off._

_Rumble was the one who spoke first after Starscream's departure, sounding confused. "Is he okay?"_

_"He'll be fine. But this might mean trouble for us." Thundercracker murmured. "I'll trail him, make sure he isn't causing problems that we'll have to clean up."_

_It had been hard, but finally Thundercracker was able to follow him to an abandoned section of the desert with nothing but small mountains emerging from the surface. "What on Cybertron is he doing?" Thundercracker blinked in confusion, hovering where he was to get a good view._

_Starscream landed clumsily, banging up his knee and slightly bending the tip of his wing. This was getting more and more unsettling as Thundercracker continued to watch, concern starting to morph in his gut that something was genuinely wrong. He needed backup in case Starscream was dangerously unstable._

_Before he could contact the other deceptions, a loud screech filled the air, causing Thundercracker to yelp fearfully and cover his sound processors. Starscream was brutally smashing his head against one of the walls of stone, breaking through the material as he yelled and swore furiously._

_His concern suddenly turned into fear for his comrade and Thundercracker dove for his boss, gripping the fellow decepticon's shoulders and forcefully pulling him away from the rock. Starscream was breathing heavy as he snapped around to look at who pulled him away, his pupils dilated and his teeth bared. But not out of aggression. Out of fear. All the years that Thundercracker served the decepticons loyally, he had never seen this happen. He had never seen Starscream lose it like this._

_And that terrified him._

_"Starscream…!?" His name came out as both a question and an exclamation as Thundercracker tried to wordlessly convince his superior that he wouldn't harm him. Starscream was defensive for a few more seconds before his body relaxed and Thundercracker was able to properly hold him._

_"What… Starscream… what was that?" Thundercracker whispered, concerned. Starscream could barely look him in the eyes as he responded._

"I'm just so tired."

Thundercracker blinked sympathetically at his fellow cybertronian, causing Starscream to continue.

"I try to be my best for Megatron. I want to be somebody he can trust with his life. But it's just so _hard_. How can I follow him when _I_ could do so much better in leading the decepticons?"

Thundercracker wanted to point out that Starscream wasn't exactly a good leader himself in times of Megatron's absence, but he knew that Starscream didn't need to hear anything negative at this moment.

"I know more about certain things than Megatron. I can read the lay of the land. We might need that one day if we attack on unknown turf. I spend my whole life researching along with-" A broken sob caught in his throat as he repeated the familiar name. "Skyfire."

"I want to be a good leader. I need to. But so many of us already look up to Megatron… How can I be a good leader when everything I do will be compared to him? I just want to do my best, but he treats me like-"

Starscream cut himself off, shutting his eyes and gritting his teeth together, clearly distressed just thinking about the larger deception. "I hate him Thundercracker. But I want to _be_ him too. I just want to be somebody others can count on. But I'm broken."

Thundercracker couldn't respond. Nothing he could say would help Starscream right now, and Thundercracker wasn't the right 'bot to help him.

"...let's just stay here for a while, okay?" He asked softly, knowing that it would benefit Starscream more than talking ever would.

"...okay."

Starscream pulled Thundercracker into a rough hug, with Thundercracker patting him on the back. Yeah, they weren't even friends, but right now Starscream needed him more than anybody else.

And Thundercracker was willing to help.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I recently started watching the G1 Transformers series (it's so bad, I adore it) and Starscream really sticks out to me for some reason? I feel so bad for him but he's still a piece of shit. I just kind of wanted to write something that might say how he feels? I don't know. Hope you enjoyed this if you did read it!


End file.
